The Appreciation and Criticism of DiAngelo's White Fragility

The basis of this blog comes in part from the book "White Fragility" written by Robin DiAngelo in 2018.  I had never heard of this book until recently when I suggested to friends on Facebook that we make a list of resources to learn about race relations and Black history and a friend mentioned she was reading this book.  The book gives a basic understanding of terms we use today when talking about race: Racism, discrimination, white privilege, and white supremacy to name a few.  DiAngelo goes through ways in which white people may say and do things that are racist due to white supremacy being so far ingrained in our society that we don't even realize we are living in it.  When I started reading it I felt myself nodding and saying "that's true" throughout most of the book.  I have had almost every conversation she mentions in the book-verbatim.  I have spoken to friends of color and they have discussed that these things indeed DO bring them frustration and cause them to distrust white friends who say/do them.  Sometimes this just means they keep them at a distance and "code switch" rather than show their true authentic selves. 

See, when White people question Black people or rebut their feelings and thoughts with typical "white" responses, it furthers the divide because Black people feel they are not being listened to and their experiences are being invalidated.  What DiAngelo says in White Fragility is that we (as white people) must take a stance of humility and allow ourselves to be taught about racism by people of color rather than think ourselves of any authority to be able to have that conversation authentically.  

The reason I liked this book was because I felt that it spoke to all that I had experienced and I agree with her basic concept that as much as I have learned, I still have more to learn- I can still be a better "ally" (more later on why I don't like that term but seeing as how that's a thing now, I roll with it).  Now- is the book PERFECT? No.  Does it layout the grand solution of repairing our deeply rooted racial issues in America? NO.  Not even close.  It is simply a vehicle for white people to SEE where they might need to change their thinking and their responses to their friends of color.  True repair won't happen with this just first step- hopefully we can move from anti-racism to multiculturalism, which is truly appreciating each other for our differences and respecting and loving one another because of them.  

I personally believe that many white people want to skip to multiculturalism though rather than put in the work that is required through anti-racism.  Anti-racism is a personal approach.  It is one where you have to look inward to find the parts of you that may be uncomfortable and acknowledge that your world view and experiences may be a little cushioned and different than the reality of others.  The film "I am Not Your Negro" demonstrates this beautifully (It's on Netflix right now).  Once you become more personally aware of your own biases and shot comings,you should learn about discrimination that has existed in our society for some time.  Once you learn those, you will see where we need to change and perhaps we can have more educated, honest, and open conversations.   Addicts must first admit there is a problem before they can recover.  As a society, or individually, we must admit we have racial bias before we can recover.  Many people think racism looks like the terror of the KKK or that White Supremacy is anyone similar who wants nothing more but to eradicate the world of all people of color.  Unfortunately, it is MUCH more subtle and MUCH more prevalent.  We have been trained to view racism and white supremacy as extremes when they are often not extreme at all.  Perhaps understanding this would help us to see more clearly the systemic part of racism a little better and how deeply rooted these concepts have been in our country for hundreds of years.  

So there is MY critique of the book and my thoughts as to why there is value in it.  Could there be more citations? Sure.  Was she a little strong at times? Yes.  But overall, there is great value in looking at our responses (as white people) to people of color to check for bias.  There is value in trying to see the world from a different point of view.  And there is value in quietly listening to learn rather than always having an opinion.  

I wanted to see what the reviews were for the book and what critiques there have been.  Racism is always viewed as "controversial" so I knew there must be many who disagree with and some who may even hate this book.  I like to hear these points of view to learn more from others as well.  Some of the reviews of course were flat out ignorant and racist (let's face it- those people are all around us and unapologetic about it)  but some had some good or interesting points.  Some have been widely circulated more than others and I am going to discuss two different critiques.  The first one is one that was circulated to even NPR on the radio. 

This critique is by John McWhorter, a professor of linguistics at Columbia University, who is black.  It was featured on NPR a few months ago and Nayte and I happened to be in the car when McWhorter was on.  We had a great discussion afterwards since I had read the book.  In his critique, McWhorter seems to take offense by the book itself claiming that "the book diminishes Black people in the name of dignifying us." He also points out that DiAngelo tells readers that this anti-racism work will be "awkward and painful".  Okay- stop you right here.  This is a clue that this book was NOT written for Black people or any person of color.  This book was written for WHITE people- that is her audience.  So naturally, black people will not "get" this book quite like white people will even if she is talking about people of color.  She is coming at this from a white person perspective talking to white people and their experiences with racism (or a lack thereof).  I talked about this book to my husband, a doctorate student, and to his step mother, a college professor and a PhD herself.  Both of them agreed that that is not a book that they would be interested in and that it doesn't seem that they are the intended audience and that this critique is perhaps taking offense because he is not the intended audience.  

Later on McWhorter's calls her a "proselytizer" rather than a diversity coach because she must be "the bearer of an exalted wisdom that these objectors fail to perceive."  This goes into the diminishing tone which I can see how some may see it this way.  The tone was perhaps at times condescending in a way.  I never bought into the "even the good ones are racist" because DiAngelo did make it sound like all white people are just inherently racist and there is no hope for us except to work on ourselves for a lifetime.  Even I may slip up every now and then and need to check myself but I think most people would agree that it is never done intentionally or with malice in mind.  I quickly apologize and vow to never repeat the behavior and I know I am not the only one.  White people may still have some lingering ideas but that doesn't mean we can't be good- that seems to be the feeling some get from the book.  

My biggest issue with McWhorter's critique is that I think he is removed from the every day experiences of every day people.  I am not sure he really knows that indeed many people DO believe that Jackie Robinson was the first Black man to play in MLB because he was the first one good enough.  He claims "exactly who comes away from the saga of Jackie Robinson thinking he was the first Black baseball player good enough to compete with whites?" For someone of his caliber, it may be common knowledge but for many, it isn't.  DiAngelo claims that, "I can get through graduate school without ever discussing racism...I can graduate from law school without ever discussing racism. I can get through a teacher-education program without ever discussing racism.”  And McWhorter disagrees. He thinks that all school curriculum include racism education and that "neglecting racism in our times would be about as common as a home unwired for electricity."   This is simply NOT true.  Being raised in the South...we skirted over racism pretty well in my education.  I was born in 1985 and am a child of the 90's and early 2000's and I can say, we did NOT have a great education about racism.  (More on that in a later post)

McWhorter asserts that DiAngelo expects white people to treat their black friends delicately .  I disagree with what her purpose is in writing this way.  She does not exclusively say you should not ask your friends questions but she does say that you should do so carefully- knowing that this might be a sensitive topic and that how you ask (in humility rather than seeking to challenge) will affect on the answer you get.  She is really just asking white people to be AWARE that their own world view is NOT how other people think and that we should respect those differences and boundaries.  

In the end McWhorter admits this "In my life, racism has affected me now and then at the margins, in very occasional social ways, but has had no effect on my access to societal resources; if anything, it has made them more available to me than they would have been otherwise. Being middle class, upwardly mobile, and Black has been quite common during my existence since the mid-1960s, and to deny this is to assert that affirmative action for Black people did not work." Good for YOU.  It is GREAT that you have not experienced the racism that many others have but there are many many more who have had a very different experience.  Yes Affirmative Action and other legislative polices have helped many achieve middle-class status but others have not and the fragility of this status slips whenever there is a recession (for a fascinating film about this check out this PBS Documentary).  Overall, this man is a Linguist from a solid middle-class family.  I would say he probably doesn't have the same experience as the average African-American.  I am truly happy for him though that he has had a better experience than most.  

This last critique I want to highlight (there have been many more) is one that I found very interesting and I really loved what this author had to say.  This one is written by George Yancey, a black sociologist who teaches sociology at Baylor University (whoop whoop- here's love for a fellow sociologist).  Yancey says, "As an African American who has not only done academic work on these issues but had to navigate the issues of racism personally, I recognize the irony of reviewing a book by a white woman." He's up front and honest about his personal experiences and recognizes that he may not have been the intended audience.  He immediately criticizes her lack of evidences she provides as well as her reliance on implicit bias, "Implicit bias may be real, but it doesn’t seem a major factor in why people discriminate against others."  He claims that the research suggests that anti-racism theory, "has been shown to have little long-term effect on prejudice. Further, focusing on privilege can actually decrease sympathy for poor white people while not raising the overall sympathy for black people. Research seems to indicate that taking this route... may be making that hostility worse."  I can totally get on board with this.  As more people are offended by these concepts (white privilege, white supremacy, inherent racism and implicit bias), they are more likely to turn away from any productive conversation about race.  He says that telling white people to be quiet and listen (basically what DiAngelo says we should do) further frustrates that work is "not the path to addressing our society’s racial alienation." But is "a path that will continue to frustrate attempts at correcting racism’s genuine effects." Yancey has a better plan. (love a man with a plan!)

Yancey calls this plan the Mutual Accountability Approach.  "It’s well established that we have a racial history in which white people have abused people of color—and that this history has yielded a contemporary system in which people of color are often disadvantaged. We need to move from racialized institutions that only benefit the majority to institutions that are fair for everyone." Thank you, Mr. Yancey, for acknowledging these systemic issues exists!  He calls this group-interest theory. "Group-interest theory indicates that allowing either group total control means that one group will create rules that benefit themselves while disadvantaging others....as an African American I shouldn’t feel comfortable living in a society where white people have the final say in race relations. And given the implications of group-interest theory, it’s reasonable for a white person to not feel comfortable with African Americans having complete power either. Indeed, one of the problems of the theory of white fragility and anti-racism is that white people are expected to rely on people of color to not abuse their newfound authority. But such an assumption, empirically speaking, is naive...I need to hear from whites about their concerns, and they need to listen to me about mine. Only then can we work toward mutually beneficial solutions to our racialized problems."  

Yancey doesn't just acknowledge the fact that there are real disparities between whites and people of color but he has done research that shows how we can listen to each other better in order to build bridges with our racial tension. "Empirical work suggests that a theory known as the contact hypothesis may offer us answers. It basically states that, under the right conditions, intergroup contact produces more tolerance and less prejudice...when we share an overarching identity with those we’re in contact with, we begin to see them as part of our group. At that point, our biases are dramatically reduced."   To figure this out he conducted research on multiracial churches and interracial marriages. Yancey found that "religious institutions and marriages are two areas where the conditions of positive interracial contact can be met. From that research, I begin to argue that interracial contact—done correctly—is a vital element for producing positive racial change in our society."  

So...I have a pretty successful interracial marriage.  Sure we've had ups and downs but race has not been a reason for those (mostly).  How have we gotten this far? I think it is a combination of BOTH anti-racism on my part and constant interracial contact.  I will not share my upbringing and school experiences now b/c this post is so long already but because of my circumstances at birth and my upbringing, I was in a better place, I think, to listen with humility as people of color told me their stories.  I asked my husband a few months ago why he married me- a simple white girl from a very redneck town.  He told me it was because I listened.  I have always been humble and never questioned or argued when he or any person of color (or other religion or sexual orientation etc) would tell me something that didn't fit in with my own world view.  I was able to recognize early on that due to my being born white, I would never have these experiences in the same way that a person of color would.  In a sense, I recognized my white privilege early on and did not deny its existence.  Did this mean my life was easy? NO! Did this mean I was rich? Goodness NO but it did mean I didn't have to deal with the stuff that others had to deal with and that had I not asked about or paid attention to discrimination I saw, I might have even remained ignorant that those experiences were even happening.  That is the purpose of "White Fragility" to teach you how to do that.  I am not sure either of those critic authors really get it but that's why I like it.  I have come to realize that humility is not always intuitive- it must be learned and it must be a real effort to listen and learn when others are different when you may not agree.  I LOVE the idea of more intentional interracial contact.  I think there is something to be said of white kids who grow up in black schools- they tend to see the world a little differently than those who grew up in white suburbs and interracial couples can teach us many things.  

In conclusion...no matter what anyone decides to do, as long as the point is to learn and love better and make the world better- that is what we are working toward.  

If you are interested in anti-racism work and think you would benefit, there is another book called "Me and White Supremacy" by Layla Saad that may be of interest.  I liked this one less than "White Fragility" but some like it better.  I am not going to give my review here but maybe another post in the future.  

Be Kind and Listen!